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September 17, 2006
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Okay, this place has a journal too?  I'm rather impressed.

Indeed, this is the start of my DeviantART account.  Why exactly am I making it?  Am I fishing for recognition (again? *slaps hand*), or simply want to make new friends?  Am I trying to prove to myself that I can be socially independant, despite the loss of a recent friend?  Frankly I don't like the sound of these questions, and the answers even less, so let's just leave it at that: I created an account, period.

The people here are SO good, it's perfectly humbling.  It almost makes me feel insecure that I'll actually get people to pay attention to my art and befriend me.  Maybe, then, I should write more.  Because my lack of technique is far too obvious in my art style.

A note on the gavel icon.  That is the one instance where my professional life actually called for my skills of an artist.  In the summer of 2006 (barely a month or two before I opened this account) there was a new task at my work that called for a new type of icon in our judicial-based application.  New icons are almost never needed, but I was extremely thankful to be assigned to this particular task and I took it upon myself to draw this little gavel pixel by pixel, using the same colour scheme as another of our existing icons, so that they would blend well.  I was delighted when my icon was approved.

I figured it would appropriate for it to spearhead my DeviantART account.

My use of it may not be perfectly legal though, so please keep it quiet.
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:iconryoshockwave:
ryoshockwave Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2006  Student Digital Artist
sorry about your friend, that's too bad...
i know what you mean, a lot of people are REALLY good. it makes me feel insecure sometimes, too ^^;
that's a funny story about your icon. i just cropped mine from a pic i drew o.o
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:iconheartstrain:
heartstrain Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2006   Photographer
Yes... I fear the worst: that she may never look upon me the same way again. But I really don't mean to complain about it any longer. I know she'd want me to show strength, that I could go on without tormenting myself or her with blame. So, I'm making this the end of it. ^_^ But thank you for your sympathy.

And of course, many of us have different strengths that cannot be portrayed on DA. All of us creators deserve our rightful attention, even if DA's media isn't always the best to show it.

Ahah, that is an appropriate thing to do on DA, that's great! And cute little ear, too. A very innocent-looking choice.
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:iconryoshockwave:
ryoshockwave Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2006  Student Digital Artist
i am having friend problems as well... even worse, she is my girlfriend... x.x;

yes, i agree. well, good luck with your work ^^

haha, thanks. yoru's ear XD
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:iconheartstrain:
heartstrain Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2006   Photographer
Ouch... good luck with that... Mine is of a slightly different nature: someone I wished was my girlfriend, until it destroyed the friendship.

If you need to share, please go ahead. I can offer you two things: sage advice and/or a listening ear, and I'll make sure not to offer one that isn't requested.
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:iconryoshockwave:
ryoshockwave Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2006  Student Digital Artist
oh, well i'm even sure what to say. she says she's still in love... but the problem is, i'm not. : (
i feel bad about it, i already broke up with her once, but she begged me to come back, so i did. i still care enough to not want to hurt her or anything... but at this point i would prefer just being friends...
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:iconheartstrain:
heartstrain Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2006   Photographer
Oh... I see. Can I try to give you the same advice I gave my friend with whom I've had this incident?
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:iconryoshockwave:
ryoshockwave Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2006  Student Digital Artist
sure thing, i need a bit of advice right now...
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:iconheartstrain:
heartstrain Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2006   Photographer
Well, I've had to deal with this kind of situation several times myself before (even though this time I was on the receiving end). Whenever I have to let someone go, or to turn them down after a confession, I honestly turn my ego off completely. It's already completely flattering to know someone else thinks of me so fondly, I don't need any further boost.

No, rather, when this happens, I tell myself there should only be one thing that matters: the other person's confidence. It's all about building them up, saying stuff like: "you've got so many gifts that would be wasted on me", and I also talk about how I'm not good for them. even if it means humbly bringing myself down, like: "I've got faults that would drive you crazy." You can even go ahead and start listing those faults. Basically anything that would make me feel better if I was in their position. Most of all, when it's over, I want them to walk out with their head held up high, looking forward to what the future brings them. Not moping.

And most importantly, I'd never say simply: "I'm sorry." Because that, by itself, carries -albeit unintended- a feeling of "I'm sorry you're not the one for me," or "I'm sorry I'm too good for you." If you want to say "I'm sorry this is so hard on you, I never meant to hurt you," that's fine, but make sure you say it in those words, so that there's no twisting of your meaning.

Well... that's what I've got to say. ... and I wish -oh so wish- my friend had known about all these tactful techniques when she turned me away. I wouldn't have felt like a used kerchief afterwards if she had. ;_;

Hope it helped!
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